Updates from Chez Preschoolers:
I realize it’s been awhile since I have written an article. There’s no big news to report, so here’s the little news.
1. Food preferences are becoming more refined. “My favorite food is sockwit.” This is significant because it is the first time a favorite food has been announced. Indeed, favorite anything is a relatively new concept. Also this is significant because it confirms that he is his mother’s son, although I pronounce it like this: “Chocolate.”
2. Singing is not always appreciated. “Stop singing that. I don’t like it when you sing.” OK, he is his mother’s son but he doesn’t necessarily like her singing anymore. Or his brother’s singing, or his dad’s. As one would expect, we are all very saddened and discouraged by this and we never keep singing just to annoy him.
3. The twins have learned to report the abbreviated version to mom. “Why is your brother crying like that?” “Because he hit me.” Further questioning revealed some escalation and retaliation.
4. However, sometimes the truth is more straightforward. “Why is your brother crying like that?” “Because I step on his peepee.”
5. We need to renew the study of our vital information. For a while we routinely reviewed our names, our address, and mommy’s phone number. Last week I asked the boys “What is our last name?” “Ummm….fwobwy…. Deedoe.” In case you are wondering, it’s probably…. not Deedoe.
6. Dragons are not scary. “Dragons are not scary. They don’t eat people. They eat grass.”
7. Some of us can assume super powers. “Pssht!” (the sound of transforming into one’s alter ego) “I have ladybug powers!” Which, apparently, consist of running really fast and flapping one’s arms.
8. Lady bugs are powerful. One son received a carpet-burn type injury on his leg, reportedly from a ladybug.
9. Fighting can be a fun and productive way to get kids ready for bed. “Mom, I wanna fight you!” “Wouldn’t you rather have a hug?” “No (brandishing arm muscles) I wanna fight!” “OK, after you get your jammies on we can fight.” I thought about telling him to fight his brother instead but I realized that would be more trouble than just fighting him myself. So I joined him on the floor and we growled and waved our arms at each other and flexed our muscles and made mean faces. After a few gestures he announced that he wanted to run all the way around the house, enter through the other living room door, and jump on my back and flip over my shoulder. He has trained on fancy ninja stuff with his dad and he instructed me to keep facing forward and not turn around. After repeating this fighting maneuver a few times he agreed to go peacefully and get his teeth brushed. Much better than the usual fighting we do about getting ready for bed.
10. Dinosaurs are extinct. “All dinosaurs are dead. They are just bones now. They can’t hurt people”